Your pain is the best thing that could have happened to you.
That is a bold and, at first glance, perhaps absurd statement. It's never nice to suffer, feel lonely, or be hurt. But what if I told you that in all your triggers and traumas that the challenges of your life have brought with them lies the key to your greatest, previously hidden strengths and the manifestation of your dreams? Would you take a second look? With this article, I would like to show you why it is worth taking a new perspective on your painful experiences in order to turn them into a blessing for you and your life. If your heart and mind are open to new impulses and you feel the call to approach the pain inside in a new way, then this blog is for you.
A few years ago, I experienced a time when my life was in shambles. Everything I believed in back then shattered. Much of what I had accumulated and eaten up over the years pushed to the surface and could no longer be ignored. In addition to this, one stroke of fate chased the next in my life. I tried to withstand it all and stay strong. I demanded of myself that I had to continue to live my life unrestrictedly as before. But one stroke of fate followed the next and finally everything got out of hand for me. I no longer had the strength to continue to maintain this inauthentic image of myself in front of me and in front of others. I lost myself My body and soul grew weaker and weaker until I couldn't take it anymore and collapsed.
I was down for a few months. I felt that nothing in my life made any sense anymore and I felt too weak to ever get up again. Luckily, my positive attitude and fighting spirit is one of my strongest character traits. I just couldn't and wouldn't accept that I should have gone through all this pain for nothing. I decided to take the debris of my life and create something new out of it. I decided to put these traumatic experiences behind me, never to turn around and just look ahead. I defiantly picked up the pieces of my old self and tried to piece them together into a new picture. But no matter how hard I tried to become a "better" version of myself and start a new life, the situations from my past always caught up with me. Worse, they even seemed to repeat themselves and the image I was trying so valiantly to piece together was fuzzy and distorted.
After a few months, I had to admit to myself that the new start I had planned just didn't seem to be working out the way I had envisioned it. But what did I do wrong? I had left the past behind me and looked ahead, which is always well-intentioned. Now, several years later, I see how simple the answer to this question is and I wish someone had explained it to me sooner. I'm sure it would have made my process a little easier and saved me a few extra rounds. Maybe you are in a similar situation as I was then and you feel alone and helpless. It is all the more important to me now to share this knowledge with you so that you feel better as soon as possible and your soul finds its strength back.
As my old self disintegrated, I decided to leave the past behind. I decided to go forward. Neither is wrong, quite the opposite. The "mistake" that didn't work out in my plan was not turning around on the way to a new life. I felt my pain, but I didn't give it space. Not listening to what my heart was desperately trying to tell me with those feelings, I pushed them away. But it's like this: If we don't let our wounds bleed and don't look at them, they won't heal at all or only very superficially and will tear open again and again. I know from my own experience that it's not always easy to accept that. Facing your pain takes a lot of courage. However, if you want to create something new, or even a complete new beginning for yourself, then the most important requirement on this path is to be honest with yourself.
Lovingly accept blockages
For example, if you have been badly disappointed by someone you care about in the past and your trust has been shaken as a result, it will probably be difficult to let someone new approach you as long as you can deal with the pain of that disappointment, didn't ask. Your heart will try to protect you when a new person enters your life that you want to open up to. Since it has not been given space to heal the old grief and hurt, it will not allow you to make yourself vulnerable again on a deeper level. You then feel the desire for closeness and a deep connection to other people, you may even feel lonely and yet you have a blockage within you that is holding you back and making sure that you isolate yourself from other people, or even them back points. If you recognize this behavior of yours, then accept this lovingly for yourself. Responding to your defense mechanisms with self-loathing will only bring you further harm. Instead, be thankful that your heart is telling you that you have not healed certain issues and want to protect yourself.
Shadow work and self love
Surrendering to your pain may pull the rug out from under you at first. Maybe you just lie in bed for a few days and cry, not wanting to talk to anyone, or feel a great emptiness. Any reactions of your body and mind are fine and have their place. Healing requires self-love and self-love, means loving yourself, in all the beautiful and varied facets that make us up as individuals. Our shadows are just as important a part of our being as our light. I would even say that they are the part of your soul that you are allowed to pay special attention to. Think about the person you love most in the world. Think about their "flaws" or the shadow aspects of their character. Do you love this person less because of that? Or do you see the hidden potential in him and feel the need to embrace him in love and help him transform his pain into light? Start treating yourself with as much understanding and patience as the person you were thinking of. You deserve it!
Feel every feeling that comes up. leave it esimply without judging it yourself. I promise that once the worst is over, you will feel great relief. Nothing in the world is worth giving up your peace of mind for. All the tension it took to "function" will fall away. You no longer have to fool yourself or meet expectations that others or even you have imposed on yourself. you are enough You have always been enough. After you have finally accepted the old pent-up energy of anger, sadness and disappointment in love and then released it, you automatically create the space to draw into your life what you so long for. Now your journey into a new life without a legacy can begin.
Like a phoenix from the ashes
Addressing and releasing old energies is the first step on your path to healing. Unfortunately, in our society, the belief "I'm strong if I don't show my injuries" is still very widespread, especially among men. In my eyes, it shows true greatness to decide to close with one's past and not to shy away from touching one's feelings and trigger points. When you realize that true strength lies in embracing ALL your feelings, because through them you grow and grow beyond yourself, you will rise like the proverbial phoenix from the ashes. You will no longer see your pain as an enemy to be silenced and killed, but as what it truly is: the map that will lead you to your greatest potential. Your pain is your guide to all the hidden treasures inside you that are just waiting for you to uncover.
Photos: Thomas Buenning